


Looking up at the sky

by minwonangst



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, seokmin and seungkwan are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 21:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19304407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minwonangst/pseuds/minwonangst
Summary: Wonwoo wants to spend the remaining hours he has in Seoul memorizing Mingyu’s face. He wants to remember everything. He wants Mingyu to not forget him.





	Looking up at the sky

**Author's Note:**

> \- This is my way of motivating myself to write again.  
> \- I haven't forgotten about House Rules. It will come soon!  
> \- A sort of an advance birthday fic for Wonwoo :D  
> \- Don't take the things minwon did in here seriously hahahahaha

**DAY 1: JULY 9**

People would think that Wonwoo has all the means in the world with how frequent he goes traveling across the country. As someone who only started a permanent and good paying job after graduating from college three years ago, Wonwoo has to refute this misconception. He is earning just enough money to pay for his rent, feed himself, and save a bit for the future. It took him quite a while to have enough bucks for a weekend trip with his starting salary. Despite this, he makes it a point to go out once a month. He can starve and go by with just instant noodles for a week if that means he could be on a train somewhere outside his home city.

Being a simple office employee in Osaka with limited days off, he could only afford to travel within the country. It doesn't matter, though, as long as he is moving and not stuck in his hometown. He wants to see other sceneries, new people, experience new things, be unknown. He likes being lost and finding way on his own. Could be because he was moving since he was a child. From being born in Busan, to growing up in Changwon, now he is in Osaka as an adult.

He is mum whenever his parents ask him why he wastes his money on unnecessary expenses when he can stay still and be a regular working man, find a woman to marry, and build a family like most human beings. He can’t tell them that he isn’t interested with girls. He was but, right now, he doesn’t find it in himself to desire them. He can only reason out it’s his own money that he is spending. He's been in Osaka all his adult life and never got the chance to explore until he could pay for it.

He couldn't tell them that he once let go of the chance chasing his own happiness and he does not want to happen it again.

This month, he is granted a two-week vacation in time for his birthday. He exceeded his target sales for the quarter so his boss could not say no to his request. The moment his vacation leave is approved, he wastes no time in booking a flight to Seoul, the place he always wanted to go.

Seoul in July is sweltering, not that different from Osaka weather. It’s the middle of summer, festivals are everywhere and students are constantly wandering the streets. Wonwoo feels familiar and foreign in his homeland.  He's never been in the city. As long as he could remember, he was living humbly in one of the rural areas down south in Changwon before his parents decided that living in Japan is better for their family. After his high school graduation, they flew to Osaka and settled there.

Wonwoo has only seen the famous Seoul city landmarks on television during his younger years or in the postcards he used to receive a few years back. His heart flutters the moment he steps out of the bus he rode from the airport, sees the street signs written in Hangul that he thought he could never see again in this lifetime which indicates that, yes, he is indeed in Seoul. He is home. This isn't a figment of his imagination anymore.

He remembers all those postcards, recites the words written on it in his head and suddenly all the feelings he thought he had forgotten comes flooding back. He feels he is 21 again, immature and crazy in love. He suddenly yearns for his first love, the only person he has loved up to this day, Soonyoung.

He stands under a shed at his stop for a few more minutes before he realizes that he needs to start moving or he would melt in this hot weather. He looks at his watch and learns that it's two in the afternoon. He has a packed day tomorrow so he has to get to his guest house as soon as possible to catch some sleep.

It does not take much effort to find his guest house from the bus stop. They have provided detailed directions to him, even screenshots of the establishments nearby to guide him better.

Once he is in his room, already lying in his unexceptional single bed, he tells himself over and over that this trip is not about Soonyoung. It is about him celebrating his 25th birthday.

*

Wonwoo met Soonyoung in Tokyo the summer before his third year in college. Wonwoo was spending his vacation as an intern in an IT firm in the city while Soonyoung was in town for a three-week dance camp. They bumped into each other in a small cafe in between Wonwoo's office and Soonyoung's dance studio.

Wonwoo wasn't the type to start conversations. He was too shy and too reserved. Only two years since his family moved to Japan, he is still struggling in communication with the locals. He could understand the language perfectly by now but he still wasn’t confident that he could speak it fluently. It was Soonyoung who made the first move after seeing him three times in a row in the establishment, making eye contact with him every time Wonwoo glanced at his direction. With his bright personality, Soonyoung bridged the gap and said hi.

It started from there. They met every day after their work and classes. Soonyoung brought one of his dance classmates along with him the first few times they meet to keep Wonwoo off the edge. In the second week, it was just the two of them eating in convenient stores because their student budget couldn’t afford fancy restaurant dates and movie houses.

They kissed on the third week, the week Soonyoung would go back to Seoul. Wonwoo was fine with long distance relationship as Soonyoung promised he would be back real soon. During the time Soonyoung was away, Wonwoo focused on his studies to keep his mind from missing the young dancer. He studied Nihongo more because Soonyoung said it would help him gain more friends in school and could make him understand the lessons more. It was tough living away from someone who keep you wide awake at night but Wonwoo persevered. He was greatly inspired as he was deeply in love. Love would always find a way even in difficult situations.

As promised, Soonyoung came back after only five months. There was no dance camp. He flew in just to see Wonwoo and spend time with him. Wonwoo felt elated that his hard work paid off as Soonyoung praised him for his fast progress in speaking Nihongo. He would make him translate lines from the current manga he was reading or tease him about sounding like a guy from a hentai clip.

Wonwoo gave everything he could offer to Soonyoung. His body, his heart, his time. He felt loved for the first time. Real love. He was happy despite the distance. Soonyoung gave meaning to his dull scholar life. Skype, kakaotalk, and postcards were a great help to keep their love alive across oceans.

Soonyoung came back one last time right before Wonwoo graduated. He asked him to move to Seoul with him, find a job there so they could live together but Wonwoo refused as he was not ready for that leap. It was too fast. He hasn't figured what he wanted to do with his life after university. He was only 22. As an only son, he wasn't sure if he could leave his parents behind. He wasn't sure if living with Soonyoung was the right decision.

It was an argument that went on until Soonyoung had to go back to Seoul. Wonwoo was still unsure, scared for a change, for a move. Soonyoung did not understand his anxieties. He thought that if they loved each other, everything would come easy, that there wouldn’t be much thinking to do. Wonwoo loved Soonyoung very much. But he was too young and did not know how to deal with serious matters like living together. They eventually separated ways. Soonyoung broke up with him after waiting for too long.

Soonyoung is his first love, the first person who broke his heart. It wasn't easy for Wonwoo to get over him. He constantly needed to be out and about to get him off his mind. He has met other foreigners and locals while going on trips in Japan, has bedded some of them, and he felt a little healed. Every encounter took a piece of Soonyoung out of his system.

Or so he thought.

Every man who claimed him only concealed a part of Soonyoung from his memory but he is still there, buried in the depths of his heart, maybe deeply rooted in his soul.

**DAY 2: JULY 10**

Wonwoo's agenda for the day is to go to Myeongdong. It's unusual to go there first as most people put it in the last of their itinerary to not spend their money in the beginning of their trip. Wonwoo is not there to shop though. He is there to eat.

He loves Korean food from the bottom of his heart. He could not eat spicy dishes before, but Soonyoung convinced him that there was no other way in eating their native food than going hot. He tries everything he could find. From ddeokbokkie, odeng in skewers, fried chicken, kimbap, sundae, and a lot more. He spends the afternoon (since he woke up pretty late) in the crowded streets of Myeongdong walking around eating.

When it's about to get dark, he walks to the cable car station that will take him to N Seoul Tower. He heard (from Soonyoung) that it is better to go there at night for a majestic view of the city skyline. And his ex is right. The lights of the buildings illuminated the whole city. It is breathtaking. Wonwoo focuses on the view. Not on the couples around him. He thinks it must be nice to have a hand to hold while looking at the city below, must be nice to sign the locks with both of your names with hopes that you two would stay together. Soonyoung had promised that he would take him there, but of course he never fulfilled it.

Wonwoo takes a picture of the skyline and the tower. He takes some selfies too as proof that he was there. He opens his kakaotalk again after years of ignoring it and hovers at the chatroom he used to frequent before. Soonyoung still uses this account, he knows and he is sure. He wants to send his photo, to let him know that he is here. He wants to know if he is fine. He wants to meet him. But he can't and shouldn't.

Wonwoo closes the app and instead, opens his Instagram account where he compiles his travel photos. He posts his selfie with the tower as the background and writes a caption  _ "I am finally here. _ "

**DAY 3: JULY 11**

He admits, there are a lot of attractive guys in Seoul. It is a given fact and Wonwoo is weak for these kinds of guys. Tall, lean, and fair. In more simple terms, he is weak for guys who looks similar to his ex-boyfriend. Everywhere he looks, there will be someone that will catch his attention, someone who possesses the physical traits he wants in a guy. To be honest, it's really a holiday for him with the number of good-looking males surrounding him. If he would make an effort, he could get a few contact numbers at the end of the day, since it is hard to resist Wonwoo's charms and looks, especially when he is in his A-game.

Thus, he does not understand why he is still here in this cheap cafe somewhere in Itaewon and having a staring contest with this boy (that he is sure is younger) a few tables from him.

The said boy is cute. Not the kind of cute that Wonwoo prefers. Cute in a sense that he is someone younger girls would usually go for. Someone innocent, boy-next-door type. He's got a middle part brown hair, bright eyes, pointed nose, and rosy lips. Wonwoo could not stop himself from staring at those inviting lips that stretches a bit when their eyes meet for a few seconds. He keeps glancing at Wonwoo's direction every now and then which makes Wonwoo reciprocate unintentionally. There is something about his kind aura, sweet and delicate. It’s different and Wonwoo is curious.

What will he lose if he will introduce himself? He seems shy and Wonwoo knows the kid won't come over if he wouldn't make the first move. So, Wonwoo stands up and walks to the boy's table. The boy jerks as he looks up at him, surprised that he is actually interested.

"Hello." Wonwoo greets, flashing his boyish smile.

The boy smiles back and stands up. It turns out, he is taller by a few centimeters. He has broader frame compared to Wonwoo and a strong appeal emanating from his movements. Wonwoo can assume he's got the strength to boast.

"Hello." The boy greets back. He is still smiling and Wonwoo gets reminded of his middle school crush and the feeling he kept on hiding because he was still not out that time. He tells himself that this one is kind and accepting, that the boy is the one who stared at him first so it’s okay to flirt a bit.

Wonwoo is not straightforward, he knows and admits it. It is the reason why he is still stunned at himself for the amount of courage he has right now to talk to a stranger. He discards his empty cup and relocates to talk to this intriguing person. He has time to waste. Technically, it is just his second day in Seoul. He got more days to tour around. No need to hurry.

“I am sorry. I just..” The boy tells him, his cheeks slightly red. So cute. “You are sitting alone in the corner and I feel like a company won’t hurt.”

“I was enjoying my breakfast, though.” Wonwoo says.

“It’s two in the afternoon.”

“I woke up late. Got a very tiring day yesterday.” It is not entirely true. He was just too lazy to get out of bed. It was his right since he is in a vacation. “But, thank you for your concern. Company is very much welcome.”

In between another cup of latte, Wonwoo finds out that the boy’s name is Mingyu and he is right - he is only a year younger but is still in college. He hails from Anyang. He is currently on a break from university. He says he would go back next semester if his savings are enough and if he would be accepted to the government scholarship he applied for. He arrived last week to visit some friends and will go home at the end of the month. He is staying in his friends’ place but said friends are at work and school so he has no choice but to roam around during the day.

“You said you are from Osaka?” Mingyu inquires, almost child-like that he looks so adorable whenever he opens his mouth. Maybe he wonders why Wonwoo is so good at Hangul.

“I used to live here, in Changwon. We moved after high school.”

Mingyu nods. “Where do you plan to go today?” Mingyu asks after emptying his cup.

Going to palaces is in his itinerary for today but it’s late and the palaces are closing soon. He thinks of hang out at Han River instead. They say it’s nice to go biking or have picnic in there while the sun sets. It’s boring and pathetic especially when you are alone but he has no other option at the moment.

“Okay. Since I got nothing to do, I can take you to places.” Mingyu offers, smiling kindly.

Who is he to refuse? Wonwoo is alone and lost in this city. He might not admit it but in reality, he needs someone like Mingyu.

It’s unexpected for a stranger to trust someone they just met. Wonwoo can be a human trafficker or a son of a mafia lord for all Mingyu knows but he offers to be his guide around. He just hopes that being friendly with this stranger will not cost his heart.

**DAY 4: JULY 12**

For someone who also hails from the province, Mingyu knows a lot about Seoul.

They agreed to meet in the same café the following day before they separated yesterday. They got each other’s kakaotalk account so they can check up on each other. Mingyu suggested that Wonwoo could go anywhere he wanted alone for the night but starting today, he would have to be with Mingyu until he goes home. Wonwoo said he would be walking around and maybe drink in those hole-in-the-wall tents. But he did not. He spent the night figuring out the best outfit for his first outing with Mingyu.

Mingyu is already in the café when Wonwoo arrives, drinking his usual Americano as he types in his phone. He seems busy and serious but his expression changes when he sees Wonwoo coming over. It’s been just a few hours but Wonwoo is still enamored at his genuine smile. His day is officially made.

“So I do not know what your interest is yet but just to be safe since it is our first day, we can go to universities.” Mingyu explains while they are in the subway. Wonwoo hasn’t ask where they are going. He just follows whatever Mingyu tells him and he thinks it is alright.

Their first stop is a university on the opposite side of the city, Konkuk University. There is literally a nature park inside the area. There is a lagoon surrounded by trees and animals living there. They walked around leisurely while Mingyu coaxes Wonwoo to take photos, even takes the camera from him and forces him to pose on a nice-looking building. He says he does not want the opportunity wasted. Wonwoo smiles but not for the camera.

Their next stop is Kyunghee University. Wonwoo is already wowed by the grand gate of the school. It feels like he is teleported to a place somewhere in Europe with the architecture of the gate. Mingyu tells him that there’s more inside. He takes him to the fountain in front of a building that looks like The White House. It seems like it is a popular spot not just for the students but also for the tourists as there are quite a lot of people taking photos in there. Naturally, Mingyu takes one of Wonwoo.

Near Kyunghee, there’s Korea University. The feel inside is a mixture of modern and classy vibes. There are buildings that are designed with a gothic touch whiles some are evidently showing off advanced architecture design. It’s cool that every building has its own character.

“So how many universities more?” Wonwoo asks while waiting for their train to arrive. Mingyu is texting again.

The younger looks up to the ceiling to think. The action flaunts his adam’s apple which makes Wonwoo wants to curse. “Two more. Don’t worry, they are near one another.”

They’ve been walking non-stop for six hours now. Wonwoo thought that because they will just be visiting universities, it wouldn’t take long. He did not know that these universities are actual tourist spots so they have to walk around it. He is a bit exhausted and hungry.

“Let’s eat lunch first.” Mingyu says, smiling as he pockets his phone. It’s one in the afternoon. It’s about damn time they eat.

They go to a meat-all-you-can place somewhere in Hongdae. Mingyu says the food is delicious and cheap. With the long line outside, it’s probably true.

Wonwoo does not complain even if it takes them half an hour to get a table since Mingyu is so nice to be with. His presence is comforting and he doesn’t make Wonwoo feel any awkward air between them even if they just met yesterday.

“Why do you know so much about Seoul? Even the places to eat.” Wonwoo asks, chewing a slice of pork barbecue.

“I wanted to study here. And I have friends here. I knew about these places because of them.” Mingyu replies.

“Why are you not studying here then?”

“Money problems.” Mingyu shrugs. He shares that his family could only afford to pay tuition for a small college. He tried applying for a scholarship but still, living in Seoul and buying art supplies is gonna be so much expensive for his parents.

Wonwoo understands the struggle. He was like that as well when he was starting in college.

Mingyu pursued his Fine Arts studies but was forced to take a break when his mother got sick. Although she’s fine now, Mingyu is still hesitant to go back. Maybe he lost his motivation. Maybe it’s already been almost two years and he doesn’t know how to draw anymore. Maybe he is already content that he is earning money by doing freelance graphic design. His parents are telling him to study again so he applied for a scholarship and saved money for the remaining year he has in college. It's up to faith if he could get it.

“You? Why Seoul? Why not… Bangkok? Europe? China?” Mingyu changes the topic.

Wonwoo halts putting food in his mouth because of the question. It is not time yet for Mingyu to know why. He does not even know if they will reach a point where he will tell him why.

“Sorry. Too personal?” The younger apologizes.

“Kind of. But it’s fine.”

After eating, they go straight to Yonsei University. Wonwoo isn’t a big fan of k-dramas and k-movies so he slightly cannot relate when Mingyu begins blabbering about the movies and dramas that are shot in the place. He seems so proud and happy talking about it so Wonwoo indulges him. On the other hand, Ewha Women’s University is known for its unique structure of its underground complex. In the evening, Mingyu guides him to the shopping area nearby. He does not buy a lot since he bought some in Myeongdong already.

Their day ends at 10:30 in the evening, at the subway station where they separate.

“I had fun today.” Wonwoo genuinely says.

“It isn’t over, mister. We will continue tomorrow!” Mingyu cheers.

Wonwoo’s phone vibrates when he reaches his guest house.

**From: Kim Mingyu**

I had fun today too. See you tomorrow ^__^

For the first time in years, Wonwoo sleeps with a smile that night,

**DAY 5: JULY 13**

For the first time in years, Wonwoo wakes up with a smile that morning. It is another day with Mingyu and another day to know more about the young man. Wonwoo dresses up well as per usual, wearing slim fit jeans to showcase his long slim legs and revealing a bit of his clavicles by not properly buttoning his shirt. As usual, it’s hot outside and he might get burned but Wonwoo has to impress.

Mingyu shows up in his usual street baggy style. He looks comfortable in his worn-out pants and and army green parka. Despite the simplicity, he looks good. At the very least, for Wonwoo.

According to Mingyu, they will go historical for the day.

They go to the famous palaces that Wonwoo only saw in his textbooks. He is lucky enough that they had the chance to witness the changing of guards ceremony. There are a lot of tourists wearing hanbok. Mingyu suggests he should too as he is technically a foreigner now.

“Shut up.” Wonwoo pushes him playfully.

Afterwards, they go to Bukchon Hanok Village. It is a small village in a hill where they preserved the traditional Korean house design. Wonwoo makes a comment about how this place is so overrated and had expected Mingyu to take him to a more hipster one. But Wonwoo appreciates that they went to those sites as it is the first time Wonwoo had been there. He couldn’t afford to join educational trips because his parents didn’t have enough money to pay for it. He only relied on his wealthier classmates’s stories when he was in elementary.

Mingyu laughs and takes his hand, dragging him down the hill when they are already done looking at the entire street. Wonwoo looks down at their connected hands then at the back of Mingyu’s head. His palms are a bit sweaty yet warm, its warmth goes up to Wonwoo’s cheeks.

He takes Wonwoo to a small tea place just around the corner. You won’t notice it if you do not know the place. There aren’t a lot of people inside, mostly locals in tie and suit having a quick break from their work. Mingyu does not let go of Wonwoo’s hand until they are inside and seated. When he does, Wonwoo feels suddenly cold.

“Thought you might like it here. Do you like tea?” Mingyu asks.

“Who doesn’t like tea though?”

“Seungkwan. He hates it.”

“Who is Seungkwan?”

The lady in pink hanbok comes over to give them a menu. Mingyu does not need to look at it as he already told the lady what he will be having - hyeonmi nokcha or green tea with roasted brown rice. Wonwoo decides, since he is new to the place, he will get what Mingyu ordered.

“Anyway, who is Seungkwan?” Wonwoo asks again when the lady leaves them.

“Seokmin’s cousin.”

“Who is Seokmin?”

Seokmin is the friend Mingyu told him about. He currently stays in the apartment that the cousins shares. It is small but the three of them can fit in. Seokmin gives him an extra futon where he sleeps on in the living room. Seokmin works 14 hours a day in a restaurant in Sinchon while Seungkwan goes to university.

“You should meet them one day.” Mingyu says as if Wonwoo is going to stay longer.

Wonwoo only nods before he sips his tea.

**DAY 6: JULY 14**

Mingyu calls for a rain check today. He says he has a sudden thing that came up that morning and he is sorry he cannot join Wonwoo in touring. The younger has not told him about his plans for today so Wonwoo does not know where to go or what to do to kill time. He decides to walk around again, just like what he did on his first day, hoping he will find something fun or interesting in the vicinity. He rides the train to nowhere and ends up in Yongdap station.

It is a tamed neighborhood, less busy than the tourist area in the city. He sees a park under a bridge and a stream in the middle. It is really nice, relaxing, and he suddenly feels home. It is reminiscent of the place he is living in now in Osaka.

There are old men playing board games under the bridge and there is a work-out station for those who wants to exercise. The benches face the stream, trees in full bloom lined up the streets, cascading a beautiful scenery of green and brown.

Wonwoo stays there the entire afternoon. He takes a nap on the grass for a few hours, only waking up when the sun is about to set, the cool evening breeze hitting his skin. Now, the park is filled with younger citizens, mostly students who just got home from summer school. They are huddled in big groups, some are couples spending time with each other after school. More youngsters come in when it is totally dark and it is Wonwoo’s cue to go back to his hotel.

He takes a look at the place one last time before he leaves, memorizing the details he can imprint in his memory, taking as much fresh air  as he can, recording the gentle harmony of the stream. He is so elated to find his favorite place in Seoul.

**DAY 7: JULY 15**

To his surprise, Mingyu shows up in the common area of his guest house unannounced at six in the morning. Wonwoo is woken up by the reception lady and tells him that his visitor is expecting him to be ready in half an hour. He is not expecting anyone so the urge to tell the lady to fuck off is strong. But then again, he does not want to upset such a kind lady. He curses to himself. There is only one person in the whole of Seoul that can pay him a visit like this.

“The fuck?” A grumpy Wonwoo still in his sweatpants, hair sticking out in different directions, comes out to face the early intruder.

“Yay! You are awake!” Mingyu chirps and it annoys Wonwoo to hell. He cannot understand where he gets his energy at this ungodly hour.

Wonwoo rubs his eyes with his two thumbs so that he can effectively glare at Mingyu. “You did not tell me that we are meeting today and this early. I still want to sleep.”

Mingyu pouts. As in pushing his thick lower lip out to give a puppy look expression and Wonwoo wants to jump off any nearby cliff so he can die. It’s unfair how he looks so cute and how he can get away with this so fucking easily. “But we have a long day ahead of us.”

“Fine! Jesus God. I am not even Catholic.” Wonwoo exclaims as he goes back to his room to get ready.

They are early because they are heading to Nami Island. Mingyu does not want to waste the day by being late since every park in the island closes at seven in the evening. Travel time is more or less two hours and they still have to line up for the bus that takes about 30 to 40 minutes. He does not want the trip to be rushed.

“I don’t want you to mind the time. I just want you to enjoy.” Mingyu says while they are in the express train going to Gapyeong where the ferry port going to the island is located. Wonwoo’s heart starts beating abnormally and he wonders if Mingyu is just being really super nice to him or if there is something more to his actions.

Everything goes according to Mingyu’s time calculation. They are already in the ferry before 9 in the morning and have docked to the island at exactly 10. Like what he had expected, the park is surrounded by luscious green trees, like they are in some kind of romance drama Wonwoo used to watched when he was younger.

They walk towards the inner part of the island where there is a vast grassland in the middle of the woods. It is just really an island park with a hotel and museum and trees and grass. That is just it. It is popular because a famous drama was shot there and million others right after. To be honest, Wonwoo is not that impressed and Mingyu notices it.

“You do not like the place?” Mingyu asks while they are walking through the woods. There aren’t many people in there so Wonwoo traversed in that way to avoid the crowd and to take a break on a bench.

Wonwoo does not confirm. He does not want to disappoint Mingyu. He prepared for this trip and he does not want to be a picky tourist that rained on his parade. Mingyu talks about every place they went to in pride, telling him every good point and what makes him like it. He likes Nami Island because it is a place full of love. You just cannot ignore that once you set foot on the island, you cannot help but wish you are there with a special someone if you are traveling solo. For Wonwoo, it is so cliche, but he admits Mingyu is right.

And that is the main reason why it does not appeal to Wonwoo. The sight of couples makes him yearn for someone. He should not. He can not. It is worse than N Seoul Tower. The romance suffocates him. The cheesiness makes him want to vomit.

“I do not hate it. I just… I do not see anything special unlike what most people say on the internet.” Wonwoo replies, toying his selfie stick while staring at the trees in front of him.

Mingyu suddenly stands up, determination reflecting on his face. “Well, then, let us do something special!” He sprints away from Wonwoo, leaving him perplexed on the bench. A few minutes after, he returns pulling a couple bicycle.

Wonwoo is stunned. “We are riding that?”

“Yeah, I rented it for an hour.”

“But-”

“No more buts. Hop in!”

It is way beyond cheesy. Wonwoo hates this kind of thing and he hates it more because he is doing it with someone he has a teenie tiny crush on. Mingyu likes it a lot, though. He laughs and howls while he pedals. Even if Wonwoo cannot see his face as he is seated at the back, he is sure his lips are stretched and his eyes form a crescent shape. His laugh is contagious that Wonwoo catches himself smiling, too. The mundane scenery becomes extraordinary with just the sound of Mingyu’s giggles.

An hour seems to pass by quickly and Wonwoo does not even notice that they have rounded the whole area thrice. He is having so much fun that he feels like a child who’s candy is stolen when Mingyu says that it’s time to return the bicycle.

Once they have returned to Gapyeong, they eat lunch first before they go to their next destination. There is a nearby place that serves chicken near the bus stop.

“Are you having fun  now?” Mingyu asks.

Wonwoo nods with a wide smile. He takes a bite of his garlic chicken happily as he recollects what they did in Nami Island.

“Good.” Mingyu smiles back.

There is not much to do in Petite France. It is a small themed “town” for tourists and another filming site for Korean dramas. They take their time going around, take pictures of each other and together, before they agree to go to their last stop.

Garden of the Morning Calm is on the other side of the district. Approximately, they are on transit for about 20 minutes, passing through a highway until they enter a road that leads to another mountainous area where the garden is located.

The first thing Mingyu utters after acquiring their ticket is that the place is used to film period dramas. Wonwoo giggles at that because how much drama Mingyu is watching to know this much? It is amusing. Mingyu punches him playfully on the arm and smiles.

It is hectares of themed gardens. Wonwoo appreciates this one more than Nami Island. The no-fun side of him prefers the calm close-to-nature ambiance of the place.

Wonwoo sees Mingyu taking a lot of photos in every corner from the moment they entered. Perhaps he is fascinated with plants or landscapes?

“It’s my first time here.” Mingyu admits when he notices that Wonwoo is observing him intently while he takes a selfie on a bed of flowers.

Oh, so that is why.

“I did not have the chance to go the last time.” Mingyu continues. “It was closed when we went. Renovating or something.”

“Is this the reason why you were so excited this morning?”

“Yes. Partly.” Mingyu nods.

“The other part?”

“Not gonna say.” Mingyu runs to the other side, sticking his tongue out at Wonwoo.

They stay there until a few minutes the garden closes. The last bus going to Gapyeong station is not gonna leave in 20 minutes so Wonwoo tells Mingyu that he will treat him odeng in skewers with soup.

The train ride home seems so quick compared to the one that morning. Wonwoo mindlessly leans his head on the cold metal bar beside his seat to rest but Mingyu grabs his head gently and puts it on his shoulder. His body is too tired to react when Mingyu puts his arm around his waist too to support his back. He is warm and comfortable. Wonwoo cannot complain.

“Thank you for today.” Wonwoo says at the station where they will part. He does not want to go home yet. He still wants to spend time with Mingyu, feel his body beside him, hold his hand, lean his head on his shoulder. He feels so good that Wonwoo develops unhealthy cravings for him. But they have to go to their respective homes. Mingyu has to return to his friend’s apartment to not worry them.

“Did you have fun?” Mingyu asks.

“Of course.”

It is Mingyu who turns his back first. Wonwoo stays there on the station until Mingyu’s back fades in the distance. They promise to see each other again tomorrow but he cannot wait anymore. He is not sure if he can even sleep that night.

**From: Mingyu**

Are you back in the hotel?

The message was sent forty minutes ago. Wonwoo did not go straight home. He went to the nearby McDonald’s to grab dinner. He feels sorry for eating fast food in a city so rich with delicious dishes but he is tired to think and Bulgogi burger is not that bad to try.

**From: Wonwoo**

Just got home. How about you?

**From: Mingyu**

Eating dinner with the boys. Seokmin cooked Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

**From: Wonwoo**

What are you eating? I am just eating burger :(

**From: Mingyu**

Kimbap! Kimchi jigae! (°∀°)b

**From: Wonwoo**

I am so jealous! T__T

**From: Mingyu**

Talk to you later. Seokmin does not like texting on the table.

**From: Wonwoo**

Okay. Eat well ^^

Wonwoo’s eats dinner and then cleans up. He is glancing on his phone every now and then, hoping for a new message from Mingyu. He only gets facebook and instagram notifications from his friends who like and comment on the photos he has posted.

At around 11, when he is already in bed, his phone vibrates. Finally, a message from Mingyu. Wonwoo squeals as he opens the message.

**From: Mingyu**

Hi （＾ｖ＾） Are you asleep?

**From: Wonwoo**

Not yet.

**From: Mingyu**

Are you waiting for my text? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**From: Wonwoo**

Haha haha you wish.

**From: Mingyu**

I really had fun today. Because of you

Wonwoo is not sure if he will believe that statement. The emoticons in his messages make him feel uneasy. Is Mingyu playing or is he serious? All of a sudden, he tells him something he does not expect (but likes) to hear. His heart is hammering on his chest. He does not know how to respond.

**From: Wonwoo**

Stop saying jokes. It’s late. I have to sleep.

**From: Mingyu**

I am not joking. Why won’t you believe me? :(

**From: Wonwoo**

Because. I am sleeping now. Good night.

**From: Mingyu**

Mean! I will see you tomorrow, Wonwoo. Dream of me~

Indeed, Wonwoo’s dream is full of sunshine radiating from a boy with a beautiful smile.

**DAY 8: July 16**

It isn’t until eleven in the morning when Wonwoo gets up from his bed. He was so tired of walking the previous day that his feet are cursing at him. He is in pain and he thinks he needs a quick foot spa to appease the pain. He gets a text message from Mingyu at nine that he will pick him up again today. He does not reply yet, more concerned about his bladder that is about to explode.

He texts Mingyu that he can come over around one in the afternoon. As usual, the young man is punctual, showing up ten minutes earlier.

“Ready?” Mingyu asks.

“Can we take it slow today? My feet are killing me.” Wonwoo pleads. It is obvious that he is in pain as he cannot walk fast. It is always a race when walking with Mingyu. As he has longer legs, he has bigger strides. Wonwoo always has to keep up with him, hence, the more effort.

“Alright.” Mingyu looks concerned. He is staring at Wonwoo’s face with worry. “Do you want to rest?”

“I can walk. Just slower than usual.” Wonwoo assures him.

Since Wonwoo is in a bit of pain, Mingyu suggests they go to parks today. Particularly just two so that they can admire the view and sit all day. Wonwoo likes sitting and admiring especially when he is with someone so admirable and nice to look at.

They have lunch at Seoul Forest. They sit under the tree with their take-out food with them. There is a man in bicycle that offers food and will deliver to you when you call them. Mingyu orders for them. It is so cute. Wonwoo blushes with just looking at him talking on the phone.

“Does it still hurt?” Mingyu asks after putting away their empty food containers.

“Not that much.”

“Come here.”

Mingyu takes both of his legs and puts them on top of his lap. He untangles the laces of Wonwoo’s sneakers, gently removing the footwear and places it on the side. The younger starts massaging his foot, tickling Wonwoo a bit until the light presses on his sole slowly feels good when he gets used to the pressure Mingyu gives. Mingyu’s touches are so gentle and while massaging, he watches Wonwoo’s expression to make sure he isn’t putting too much force on his muscles.

“I think I am gonna fall asleep soon.” Wonwoo jokes, loving how Mingyu treats him so well.

When the sun is already hidden behind the clouds, Mingyu allows Wonwoo to take a nap and use his lap as cushion for his head. The air is cooler now, just right for Wonwoo to get comfortable. Mingyu combs his dark brown locks with his fingers as he stares at his face. Even if Wonwoo cannot see, he can feel that Mingyu is staring down and studying him. It makes him nervous, heart beating faster and ears turning red. He likes the attention, though, so he smiles to subtly tell Mingyu that he does not mind.

“You have the prettiest smile.” Mingyu says.

Wonwoo smiles wider. He doesn't smile often these days. He thinks he smiles more often now that he is in Seoul. With Mingyu. He could not help it anymore and says, “You make me.” It is true.

Without a warning, Wonwoo feels soft, plump lips land on his nose. His insides are a mess. He opens his eyes and finds Mingyu’s face only a few centimeters away from him. He can hear his steady breathing, can see his eyes looking directly at him. Wonwoo wants to run because he is falling. Fast. And he does not want to plummet like this again. Just like what happened before.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Mingyu whispers, he is so close that their lips are almost touching. “But I won’t.” He leans back and strokes his hair again.

Wonwoo’s heart calms down once Mingyu sits up straight. He cannot sleep now but he feels peaceful. He feels secure. If he falls, he is sure Mingyu is waiting at the bottom to catch him with open arms.

**DAY 9: JULY 17**

A week passes by so quickly that Wonwoo does not notice that he is going to turn 25 in 17 minutes. He and Mingyu are sitting on one of the benches at Seokcheon Lake in the middle of the night. There aren’t many people hanging around anymore, considering it is a Wednesday and regular, functioning people are home by now because they have work or school tomorrow. Mingyu is eating chips while Wonwoo munches on his cheese bread happily while they kill time. Mingyu says he does not want to go home yet and Wonwoo wants to spend the first few minutes of his birthday with the boy without telling him that it is his birthday.

“You know, we will go to Everland tomorrow and Everland is far and we have to wake up early.” Mingyu says, hinting they should be going now. Subways are about to close. They have to take a cab back.

“I can wake up early. I can stay up all night, too.”

“Yeah because you took a nap this afternoon while you used me as your pillow. So fair.”

Wonwoo sticks his tongue out. He knows the statement does not bite. “A few more minutes then we can go.”

“Alright,” Mingyu stands up and picks up a piece of twig on the ground. He plays with it and then throws it into the lake. When he gets bored, he picks up rocks and throws them until a person tells him that it’s illegal.

One more minute. Mingyu comes back to the bench, opening his second can of soda.

“Do I bore you?” Wonwoo utters.

“Of course not!”

“I just need time. I need to wait.”

“Wait for what?”

20 seconds.

Wonwoo closes his eyes exactly when the clock ticks 12. He recalls the face of a boy with small eyes and round cheeks, staring at him and uttering promises to him. _ “Let’s celebrate your 25th birthday together.” _   It is still fresh in his mind, so raw that he can feel the other’s breathe on his face before he kissed his lips that night - their last night together in Wonwoo’s apartment before he went back home. He remembers the calls, the photos he sent him as a preview of the places they would go and the food they would eat once Wonwoo flies to Seoul. Wonwoo remembers the feeling of being in love with Soonyoung and how happy he was with him. It hurts him to still recall everything in detail. It pains to see himself do all of this because of a man, how everything is still about him.

He is 25 now, in the place where they had planned to meet again. But Soonyoung isn’t here to fulfill his promises.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo hears Mingyu’s so close to him. He opens his eyes and that is when he notices - feels - his cheeks are damp. He is crying.

He turns his head to look at Mingyu. The young man schools a worried expression on his face, forehead creased, eyes concerned. At the very least, Wonwoo is thankful that he is not alone. Although he is ashamed that he showed a side of himself that he shouldn't be showing to Mingyu yet, he is thankful that Mingyu isn't judging him or thinks he is a weirdo.

“I am okay.” Wonwoo assures Mingyu, wiping the tears on his cheeks and smiles to stop him from worrying. “I just remembered something.”

“What? You can tell me.” Mingyu coaxes. He takes his hand in his and rubs the back of it using his thumb.

Wonwoo smiles, eyes and nose crimson. “Some other time.” The pain is still there but the feeling of Mingyu’s hand makes it bearable.

*

Wonwoo swears he is going to die any minute now.

He does not know what Mingyu did to convince him that the first ride that they should get on is this fucking roller coaster. He isn’t a wimp. He isn’t afraid of heights but these kinds of things makes him sick. It is not his favorite thing in this world and he is doing just fine in his life without doing this daredevil stunt that does not contribute to the improvement of mankind.

Wonwoo is holding tight on the thing that suspends him on his chair. He could not even think what the thing is called and does not bother thinking what it is it at this moment. He knows Mingyu is laughing beside him as they ascend up before they would be unceremoniously dropped thousands of feet below to kill them.

And so it starts. Wonwoo is just closing his eyes as he tries so hard to keep his breakfast in. The ride doesn’t take long. Give or take, only two minutes of swirling and zigzagging their way through hell. Once it's over, Wonwoo wants to throw up and he is not even being subtle about it. If he could, he wants to take it all out on Mingyu just to get revenge.

“Don’t be a cry baby! It’s fun!” Mingyu cheers. They are standing right outside the ride gate and Wonwoo is bending down because he thinks his stomach and lungs had changed positions.

Wonwoo looks up at him, glaring. He didn’t really want to go to this amusement park but since it is his birthday, he wants to be in a happy place and do something fun with Mingyu. He did not expect that Mingyu is a freak, an inconsiderate one, that takes a liking to things that Wonwoo despises.

“I hate you.” Wonwoo says. “It is just the start of the day but I am not sure if I can still walk ‘coz my knees are trembling.”

“Oh come on!” Mingyu takes his hand and drags him to walk. His stomach flips again but Wonwoo isn’t sure if it is because he still hasn’t recovered from the ride or he hasn’t gotten used to Mingyu’s touch by now. “Don’t be a drama queen.”

Mingyu lets him dictate what rides he wants after Wonwoo refuses to ride The Columbus Adventure vehemently. He does not plan to vomit all day when he isn’t even drunk to do so. He insists on walking and even suggests to just meet at the end of the day if Mingyu likes to be the adventure-seeking person he so much wants. The younger turned down his proposal to separate, reasoning that they should stick together no matter what, giving Wonwoo all the power to decide.

Wonwoo’s idea of fun consists of riding The Royal Jubilee Carousel followed by Thomas & Friends Festival Train. He is fully aware that it bores Mingyu out, with the way he yawns while they are moving up and down, straddling a hard-wood horse or when they are sitting in the train car beside loud kids with their parents. But not once does he complain.

“Are we done being lame now?” Mingyu asks while Wonwoo is buying corndogs for them. Queuing up for each ride takes almost half an hour or more. It tires both of them and when Wonwoo gets a bit tired, he recovers by way of eating anything appetizing he sees. Moreover, it is past noon now and they have not even thought of eating proper lunch because Mingyu is insisting on getting on that stupid Thunder Falls, that roller coaster thing that lands on water. What is up with his fixation with roller coasters?

Wonwoo sighs as he sits down on the table that Mingyu got for the two of them and hands him his food. “I told you, go ride anything you want.”

“Go with me!”

“No.” Today, on his 25th birthday, is not the day Wonwoo wants to die.

“Fine!” Mingyu finally concedes, biting on his corndog harshly and chews on it like he is a hungry tiger. He looks cute when angry. Wonwoo is so entertained.

The rest of the day, they hang around the Zootopia area for a safari experience where they get to see wild animals in close distance. Mingyu looks like a kid when a tiger appears in front of them, truly amazed with how big the animal is. He keeps on elbowing Wonwoo to tell him that he really likes tigers and lions because they are badass and not a lot of creatures can mess with them.

“I thought you’ve been here?” Wonwoo inquires, watching Mingyu take videos of every animal they encounter.

“Yes, but not in this area. Seungkwan is allergic to animals.”

Wonwoo snickers, thinking how this particular friend of Mingyu was always the reason why their trip got cut short. He does not speak out what he is thinking when Mingyu raises an eyebrow at how he is giggling by himself.

They eat dinner at Cucina Mario, an Italian Restaurant in the vicinity. Mingyu is trying to convince Wonwoo that they can eat somewhere cheaper and less fancy than the place. He knows that the food is overpriced. They can eat hotdogs or hamburgers outside. However, Wonwoo insists that he wants to eat something different and that he would pay for everything.

“But it’s expensive! I don’t want you to spend that much on something that you will just shit out in the morning.” Mingyu reasons while they are standing outside the restaurant.

“Just come, okay?”

“But-”

Wonwoo has already entered and so, with a loud grunt, Mingyu has no choice but to follow him inside.

The place offers different kinds of pizzas and pasta. Wonwoo admits, there’s nothing special as he browses on the menu that is laid out on the table. He has eaten on a fancier place than this with better food in the same price range. Mingyu is right, the food is overpriced but Wonwoo does not want to eat fast food, especially not tonight. He just wants to be extra flashy on his birthday night. He thinks he deserves it.

Mingyu lets him order for the both of them. He says he can eat anything, even just a bagel and will just eat later when they get to Seoul. Of course, Wonwoo does not get them breakfast food. He order the house specialty and Mingyu wants to throw up at the price of the dishes, muttering how many cans of beer they could buy with the amount. Wonwoo ignores him and shoves appetizer pretzels in his mouth to shut him up.

They leave the amusement park at around past nine in the evening. Since Wonwoo paid for their dinner, Mingyu invites him to drink a little before they go home. They buy beer in a convenient store and settle on a deserted playground near Wonwoo’s place.

It is almost midnight by now. Wonwoo’s day will be over soon. He starts it with Mingyu and he is ending it the same way. They sit on the grass, the cans of beer scattered between them. The younger is on his phone, possibly talking to Seokmin. He might be telling him that he will be a bit late and there is no need to wait for him.

“What will you do once you go back?” Wonwoo asks once Mingyu pockets his mobile device.

“Most probably sleep.”

Wonwoo clicks his tongue, displeased at the other’s reply. “I mean when you go back to Anyang.”

Mingyu pushes his lower lip out and puts one hand under his chin while he thinks. “I guess I will finish my studies.”

Wonwoo nods. “And then?”

“Find a better job. Move out from my parents’.”

“Is there anything you wanted to do so bad that you cannot do right now?”

Mingyu takes a sip from his can before he answers. “Why so many questions today, huh?”

“Just answer!”

“I really like dancing since I was a kid. But since dancing cannot make me rich, I study Fine Arts in college but I still dance whenever I can.” Mingyu was a member of a dance club in the university. They went to competitions and had regular practices. However, because Mingyu is on leave from school, he hasn’t danced since he took a break. “How about you?”

Wonwoo crumples the empty can on his hand before he opens another one. “I wanna play football but I am not sure if I still have it in me because I haven’t touched a ball after I graduated from college.”

“Why?”

Wonwoo explains that he does not have the time anymore and that he lost the motivation. He used to be part of the official football team of his school ever since he was in elementary. He could have made it into the collegiate level but his mother did not give him permission to be in the team. She thought sports was just a waste of time and her son should only focus on graduating from college and get a decent job right after.

“You could have been playing with Messi right now!” Mingyu exclaims. It makes Wonwoo laugh because he is sure Mingyu does not know anything about football and he only knows Messi from a k-drama he has watched recently. “But seriously, I hope you can play again. I mean, like you can play during Sundays when you do not have work. Just grab a ball and kick it even if you do not have anyone to play with.”

“I can do that.” Wonwoo utters.

“Yes, you can!” Mingyu raises his fist up in the air. He is so hopeful and so carefree that it rubs off on Wonwoo a little bit. The younger puts his hand down and smiles at Wonwoo. “Wonwoo fighting!”

Wonwoo does not say stuff like that. He does not say “fighting” like what most people in this country but it’s Mingyu’s effect on him that blurs all reason in his head and makes him do things he does not want to do. In a split second, he is balling his fist and uttering the words “fighting” back at Mingyu.

Wonwoo is scared. He swears he does not want to be like this. He does not want to feel the things he is feeling but Mingyu has been nothing but amazing. He does not want to cross the bridge going to the abyss because he knows when he does, there is no going back. He is terrified of feelings, of being vulnerable, of giving himself to someone again. But this feels different. This feels right. Reasons be damned. He must do it.

Mingyu smiles back at him, so wide and so bright that Wonwoo really loves. He is so beautiful despite looking a bit red from all the alcohol he has consumed, even if he acts like a kid most of the time and makes that ugly face when he tries to be cute. Like right now, Mingyu is looking straight at him, his plump lips wet from his drink while he talks. It might be intentional. Wonwoo does not not know but they look inviting. He might regret his decision and if Mingyu will push him away, he is sure they will not see each other again which is kind of alright with Wonwoo. He can easily forget and move on from this.

Wonwoo fists the front of Mingyu’s shirt and pulls him in, meeting his lips in a sudden kiss. Something explodes inside of him and then he hears ringing in his ears. Mingyu feels so soft, tastes so sweet despite the bitter taste of beer on his tongue. Wonwoo pulls back when his consciousness kicks back in. He cannot look at Mingyu, too embarrassed of stealing a kiss from him.

“Wow.” Mingyu utters, eyes still trying to focus back.

“I am sorry.” Wonwoo looks down on his lap. He feels like crying for being a thief.

“Are you really?”

“I-uh-”

“You waited for midnight to kiss me? Are you gonna walk away now Cinderella?”

Mingyu does not sound angry, just the usual playful and sarcastic Mingyu he came to know. A good sign. Wonwoo is not in trouble. Although, he still feel nervous with all the questions. He has done this before. Has kissed a lot of men casually. He keeps asking himself why this make him feel conscious.

“Today is is actually my birthday.” Wonwoo admits, still looking at his lap. His hands are still shaking.

Mingyu’s eyes widen. “And you are only telling this to me now?”

Wonwoo does not have the time to answer because Mingyu lifts his chin in one quick motion and then his lips are on his once again, kissing him urgently. It is not like a peck on the lips like what they have shared earlier. He is pressing those goddamn full lips on him, hand on his nape and the other on his waist. Wonwoo feels like he is gonna lose air in his lungs with the way Mingyu covers his mouth. He feels like drowning with Mingyu’s sweetness, with how good he tastes, with how amazing he feels against him. The younger does not give him a second to re-group himself or plan his next action. Mingyu dictates the game and the game is quite getting rough.

“Happy birthday.” Mingyu says when they pull apart. Both of them panting with the intensity of the kiss. Wonwoo takes a moment to take in what happened.

He leans back to assess the mess he had started. Mingyu's lips are still glistening with saliva and he is quite sure that his pants is a bit constricting right now.

"I-uh.." Wonwoo tries. He really does but words can't save him right now.

Mingyu beams at him before he leans in again to claim his lips for the third time. He is so gentle, so sweet, so perfect. Wonwoo is the one to break it off because it becomes too much for him. He is too overwhelmed by Mingyu.

Mingyu takes him in arms. "It's okay." He whispers on top of his head.

Even in the midst of confusion, Wonwoo feels good to have Mingyu this close. Even in the midst of doubt, Wonwoo believes him. Maybe this is okay.

**DAY 10: JULY 18**

Wonwoo immediately jumps off of his bed to take a quick shower the moment he wakes up. He almost forgets that he is supposed to meet Mingyu this afternoon if not for the series of texts he gets from him to remind him that he should be getting ready by now.

He puts on the first shirt he sees in his luggage and pairs it with a worn skinny jeans hanging on a chair in his room. It’s scorching outside like the whole of Seoul is on fire. Usually, Wonwoo hates to be outside in this kind of weather. He prefers to beat it in the comfort of his cold office room in Osaka. Right now, he is on vacation so he has no choice but to go out and make the most out of it.

Mingyu is already inside the bubble tea house three train stations away from Wonwoo’s accommodation where they agreed to meet. Wonwoo sits down in front of him, thin sweat covering his neck and forehead. Mingyu reaches over to wipe the sweat on his skin using a table napkin.

Wonwoo leans back, surprised at the action.

“I’m sorry.” Mingyu takes his hand back, apologetic for his bold move. “Too much?”

“It’s okay.” Wonwoo smiles and pacifies him by reaching for his hand.

They order drinks together, Mingyu takes a passion fruit drink while Wonwoo goes for a usual milk tea with pearl. It refreshes them both as they stroll the area hand in hand under the sun.

They have no particular destination. Mingyu takes Wonwoo to some specialty shops around Hongdae for affordable fashion finds. The trip is more for Mingyu than for Wonwoo as the latter is not really particular about the clothes he wears. As long as the garment is comfortable, he would buy it. He is not really after the trend. Wonwoo watches as Mingyu brightens whenever they go inside a store and finds something he fancies.

“When are you leaving?” Mingyu suddenly asks while they are inside a record store, looking through some old school records.

“On the twenty-second.” Wonwoo answers.

“It’s four days from now.”

Wonwoo only nods. He only has four days in Seoul. He wishes he had more so he can spend it with Mingyu but he knows that’s impossible. He has to go back to work, has to go back to his lonely life in Osaka.

“It’s so fast.” Mingyu takes out a Bruno Mars record from the rack. He reads the back cover and when he doesn’t find any song he knows, he puts it back.

Wonwoo sees The Beatles’ Let It Be album. He isn’t a big fan but he likes all the songs in this album and this is the last album that the group did together. He decides he will take it. “Vacations are supposed to end.”

Mingyu doesn’t comment about the vacation. Instead, he asks about the record. “You’re getting that?”

“Yes.” Wonwoo makes his way to the cashier.

“Didn’t know you are an old soul.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Kim Mingyu.”

Wonwoo pays for the item then goes out the store without minding if Mingyu is behind him or not. The sun has already set. The sky has a beautiful hue of pink and blue. Wonwoo takes his time to appreciate the summer sky above him even if he is sure it isn’t different from the one they have in Osaka.

Mingyu catches up on Wonwoo, mimicking him as he looks up. Mingyu is silent. Wonwoo doesn’t hear him say a word but feels his presence beside him. Wonwoo is sure they look ridiculous staring up at nothing by the sidewalk.

“We should go on a vacation.” Mingyu interrupts the silence with his husky deep voice. He is smiling when Wonwoo glances up at him, like there is something amusing at the vastness of the sky.

Wonwoo chuckles. “I am already on vacation.”

“I mean just the two of us. Out of here.” Mingyu finally faces him.

“Where?”

“I don’t know. The beach?” Mingyu grabs his hand and proceeds walking down the street.

“The beach?” Wonwoo asks back. He isn’t sure about this. He doesn’t like getting toasted under the sun while swimming in the ocean as he doesn’t know how to swim.

“You don’t want to go?”

“I am not sure.”

“Why?

“Is this why you asked me out today?”

“Don’t you wanna go with me?”

“After all this time, you still think I don’t wanna go with you?” Wonwoo stops and turns to Mingyu.

Mingyu chuckles. Wonwoo looks at their intertwined hands, thinks about the kisses they shared last night. It's definitely something-- something Wonwoo is terrified about.

"So?" Mingyu shakes his thoughts off.

"Let's eat first."

Mingyu doesn't press anymore. It's completely dark outside when they get to a Italian pub for dinner.

Mingyu is uncharacteristically silent. He tries to talk and comment on the football game on the screen in front of them but Wonwoo is sure he is still bothered by the trip he had asked him earlier.

Wonwoo makes up for the awkward air by slicing his steak for him while telling him about the new guest in his hostel. Wonwoo orders a bottle of beer for each of them to help Mingyu loosen up. After a few sips, he eventually goes back to his usual cheerful self.

“About what you asked earlier," Wonwoo starts. He doesn't want this night to end without clearing things up.

It's not that he doesn't want to go with Mingyu. In fact, he would love to. He loves Mingyu's company. Although he isn't into water activities, Wonwoo is sure Mingyu will make it fun and memorable for him.

And that is the thing. Mingyu is too fun and too comfortable for Wonwoo. It's gonna be hard leaving something-or someone- that amazing behind.

Wonwoo wonders what is so hard about telling Mingyu everything when all he has to do is explain the truth. Mingyu must be on the same page because he knows Wonwoo isn't gonna stay. He knows eventually Wonwoo has to leave.

“About that," Mingyu cuts Wonwoo off. “I am sorry. I must have surprised you. You might have other plans. Just forget about it.”

Mingyu offers a polite smile before he takes another sip of his drink.

Wonwoo frowns at his reaction. This thing between them is bound to end but Wonwoo can make it worth it. Another four days with Mingyu won't hurt.

“I thought you want to go with me?” Wonwoo tilts his head.

“Yeah.. but..” Mingyu looks down.

“Yeah well I want to go with you too.”

Mingyu lifts his head in surprise. “But I thought you rejected me.”

Wonwoo can't explain how his stomach flutters whenever he looks at Mingyu. The boy makes him feel all sorts of tenderness. "Let's go to that beach together."

Mingyul smiles again, showing his slightly crooked teeth. He shakes his head as a grin remains plastered on his face which Wonwoo finds adorable.

With a blush still painting the apples of his cheeks, Wonwoo smiles back. They are silent for about a minute, not knowing what to say to each other next until Mingyu puts his hand on top of Wonwoo's. Wonwoo looks up at him with searching eyes.

“Shall I walk you home?” Mingyu offers.

“But my place is out of the way from yours.” Wonwoo argues but loves the feeling of Mingyu's warm palm on him.

“It's fine. I just want to spend more time with you."

Wonwoo blushes some more before looking away. He bites his lower lip in an attempt to hide a smile. Mingyu is too sweet. So dangerously sweet for Wonwoo.

As if it isn't enough to sweep him off his feet, Mingyu lifts Wonwoo's hand to his lips while maintaining eye contact.

“My hand is dirty, you know.” Wonwoo tries to mask the fast beating of his heart by saying something gross.

“I don’t care.” Mingyu kisses his hand again.

“Okay, now you can stop it.” Because if he won't, Wonwoo is afraid of what more he could feel, how much more of himself he would be willing to open up for Mingyu.

“I won’t stop until you say yes.” Mingyu says stubbornly.

Wonwoo covers his face with his free hand while he tries to calm himself down. They are going at the speed of lightning but he can't make himself stop giving in. Based on history, he might regret this later. Also based on history, he would take the risk.

“Let me walk you home, please?" Mingyu repeats cutely, joining his hands together as if he's praying.

Wonwoo sighs and finally says yes. He walks out the diner first followed by Mingyu. Once they are already out on the streets, Mingyu takes his hand back to hold as they make their way to the nearest train station going back to Wonwoo's hostel.

Wonwoo is thankful that the air gets colder as the night grows deeper, cool wind blowing their faces and drying their sweat-soaked shirts. They walk without uttering a word but they squeeze their hands every now and then whenever they have to cross the street or when Wonwoo feels he's losing Mingyu's hold. It's a comfortable silence that is accompanied by warm touches.

“Thanks for walking me home.” Wonwoo says, stepping on the elevated platform by his hostel's doorstep. At this angle, he meets Mingyu on eye level. It's the first time he doesn't have to look up at him while talking.

“You are welcome.” Mingyu beams, still holding his hand and swaying it a bit. "Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah." Wonwoo nods in affirmation.

Mingyu takes another step forward so that their bodies are only a few centimeters away. Wonwoo can't ignore the palpable tension in the air surrounding them. Wonwoo gulps and he sees Mingyu look at how his Adam's apple bobs.

If Mingyu is like the other boys Wonwoo hooked up for fun, he would already have him pinned against the wall. Wonwoo is no saint. He had various sexual partners to satisfy his needs. Heartbreak taught him about not getting attached and shielding himself from potential developing feelings.

But he feels different for Mingyu. He makes him want to go through romantic finger-curling moments that one can only see in movies. His innocent smiles, contagious laughs, and warm palms tell Wonwoo that he's worth giving a shot.

Wonwoo doesn't make the first move. He doesn't want to give his feelings away, doesn't want to completely succumb to whatever Mingyu is making him feel. Despite the comfortable warmth Mingyu gives him, Wonwoo is hesitant to fully step forward.

Wonwoo could only close his eyes when Mingyu slowly moves towards his face and wait for Mingyu's lips to touch his. He is already anticipating plump wet lips against his. To his utter surprise, it lands on his forehead. Slowly opening his eyes, Wonwoo searches for deep brown ones.

“I don’t want to rush things.” Mingyu says. "I know we only met a few days ago and I don't wanna overwhelm you. I want this to go further but I want to make sure. I want us to be on the same page on this."

Wonwoo isn't a bit disappointed. If you would ask him, that is also what he wants. He wants to take time knowing Mingyu even if he only has four days to do so. He wants to know if these are all just spur of the moment emotions.

“Me too.” Wonwoo says.

Mingyu takes his hand hand and kisses it again. “I am going now. Good night, Wonwoo.”

“Good night. Take care on your way home.” Wonwoo waves.

“I will. Go in now.” The taller releases Wonwoo's hand then pushes him gently to the open front door.

“I will when you go.”

“No. You go in first then I’ll go.”

Wonwoo absolutely could not believe that he is being treated like a fragile porcelain by a guy. No one has looked and adored him like this. Even Soonyoung, he didn't act like Wonwoo is the shiniest star in the sky. Wonwoo repeatedly catches himself asking heavens if Mingyu is real because he thinks everything that has happened in the past few days were all just a dream. Everything is too good for reality, especially for his sad reality.

“Come on.” Mingyu shoos him to go inside.

Wonwoo waves at Mingyu one last time before he finally turns his back. His chest never felt so full until a Kim Mingyu graces in his life.

Once in his room, Wonwoo looks at the record he has bought. Maybe he should take The Beatles' advice and just let things be.

**DAY 11: JULY 19**

Wonwoo assumes Mingyu would simply take him to the beach for their vacation. It is the logical destination since everyone is trying to cool themselves and enjoy a nature trip while the weather permits.

Wonwoo has stopped asking questions during the bus ride as Mingyu keeps mum about the place he would take him. Even if he continues pressing and bugging the taller, Wonwoo couldn’t squeeze any hint from him. Mingyu is already too nice for organizing this overnight trip so Wonwoo decides to just go with whatever he has planned.

It’s a good three-hour drive from the city that Wonwoo almost believed that Mingyu is taking him somewhere far to murder him. Soon, the ocean is starting to appear from Wonwoo’s window. A few minutes more, they got off at a campsite near the beach. Mingyu leads him in the vicinity, takes their key from the receptionist, and opens the room to their own glamping tent.

Wonwoo is awed at their small yet fancy lodging. It’s literally a big tent but has air-conditioning inside. Wonwoo has never experienced camping before so it excites him that they are staying in a tent for the night near the beach. Fuck heat because he will definitely enjoy it.

“The bathroom and toilet are outside. The ones that have private bathrooms are quite pricey.” Mingyu explains to him as he puts his duffel on top of their queen-sized bed.

“It’s okay. This is perfect.” Wonwoo says. He keeps their door open, loving the ocean breeze hitting his face.

Being by the beach surrounded by lots of trees makes the heat more bearable. It is not that hot anymore unlike in the city where Wonwoo could directly feel the heat of the sun burning his skin.

Wonwoo puts his own things on the other side of the bed. It’s still pretty early and they have ample time to walk and check out water activities they could do.

“I asked another mattress.” Mingyu says all of a sudden.

Wonwoo doesn’t follow what he is talking about.

Mingyu takes the hint. “You take the bed. I’ll take the floor.”

“But the bed is big enough for two people.”

“It’s alright with you?”

Wonwoo couldn’t believe that even after they kissed so many times since their first, Mingyu is still treating him like a virgin. It’s cute and silly at the same time.

“Of course. We can share the bed, Mingyu.” Wonwoo tells him. He doesn’t know how Mingyu would perceive that but Wonwoo isn’t gonna be a hypocrite here.

Wonwoo walks up to him and gives him a chaste kiss on the lips. Mingyu relaxes at that and kisses him back. They make-out for a while before they go out to the beach.

Mingyu didn’t plan much. He says he only wants Wonwoo to relax on this trip. He doesn’t want to force him to do exhausting activities like hiking or diving. Wonwoo would be up for that if he isn’t such a lazy person.

“So, what are we doing now?” Wonwoo asks. They are on their way to the shore where most of the motorboats are docked.

“We’ll go fishing!” Mingyu tells him enthusiastically.

It’s surprising how Mingyu knows what he wants even without telling him. It’s like they have an invisible bond between them. Mingyu knows when Wonwoo needs his hand to hold, when he is tired, when he doesn’t wanna talk, when he is hungry, when and where to kiss him. It’s only been a week but it feels as if Mingyu has known him more than that.

Wonwoo doesn’t tell him that he wanted to go fishing for the longest time. His father had promised that he would take him when he was younger but it never happened because they had to sell their boat so they could have enough money to start again in a foreign land. Wonwoo had always thought about it when he was younger until it got neglected when he got busier with adult responsibilities.

It turns out, Mingyu doesn’t know how to fish. One of the crews teaches them the basics. Eventually, the both of them got the hang of it. Mingyu even beat him in catching fish. Wonwoo is having a lot of fun watching Mingyu have fun whenever something bites his bait. The happiness on his face is too pure and innocent. It’s hard for Wonwoo to look away.

They go home with a bucket of live fish that they give to their boat crew as a tip and a precious memory that Wonwoo would keep with him forever.

“Did you like it?” Mingyu asks him.

“Yeah.” Wonwoo nods. Mingyu fixes his bucket hat before he takes his hand.

After watching the sunset side by side by the beach, they go back to their tent to shower and rest before dinner. Mingyu goes first. When Wonwoo is done, Mingyu is already snoring on the bed without a shirt on.

It’s the only time Wonwoo has seen Mingyu’s body. He had always known he has nice cuts underneath his clothes but actually seeing it and proving his hunches are right is so satisfying. Aside from his beautiful face, Wonwoo can’t help but admire his smooth tan skin. He smiles at Mingyu’s sleeping form before he covers him with the duvet.

Wonwoo chooses to walk around the area while waiting for Mingyu to wake up. He visits some of the shops lining the street behind the beach. It’s colorful at night, lots of specialty food being sold and souvenirs stands here and there. Wonwoo gets himself a magnet, just like what he always buys whenever he goes on a vacation, to remind him of this trip.

It’s already almost eight in the evening when Wonwoo gets back to their tent, Mingyu still sleeping soundly. Wonwoo’s stomach is starting to grumble. As much as he doesn’t want to disturb Mingyu’s sleep, he doesn’t want to eat alone and look like a loner in the middle of the dining area full of acquainted people.

“Mingyu.” Wonwoo shakes his body to wake him up which he immediately does. He tells him that he is already hungry. Mingyu rises up quickly, changes his clothes, and then the two of them are on their way to dinner.

They got served Japanese food is served which makes Wonwoo is so delighted. He grew up eating his mom’s cooking but when they moved and when he got a place of his own, he began liking Japanese cuisines. He never thought he would yearn for it while in Korea.

Wonwoo eats a lot, as per usual. Mingyu looks grateful across the table, smiling at him as he devours the food on his plate. He says something about Wonwoo being too skinny and that he should eat more to gain weight.

After the enormously sumptuous dinner, Wonwoo gets so full and bloated that he only wants to sleep. But then Mingyu tells him that the resort would have a firework display an hour before midnight and that he wants to watch it together

The drowsiness Wonwoo feels vanishes when Mingyu takes him for a walk around for a few minutes. They found a nearby sauna. Wonwoo tells Mingyu he wants to go even just for a bit to burn the calories he had for dinner.

“You sure you don’t want to go?” Wonwoo asks Mingyu again. They are back in their tent, Wonwoo preparing for the things he needs for the sauna while Mingyu sits on the floor while he scans the TV for an interesting show.

“Yep. I don’t really like saunas.”

“You’re not going anywhere?” Wonwoo is on his way out the door.

Mingyu shakes his head and sends him off with a kiss on his cheeks.

Wonwoo sits in the corner of the steamy room, not moving a muscle to allow his skin to sweat on its own. He doesn’t stay long as he promised Mingyu that they would go to town for the fireworks display. Once contented, Wonwoo takes a warm bath and leaves.

He returns just in time before the show. Mingyu is still up but already in his sleeping attire: blue checkered pajama pants. By the looks of it, they are not going out for the night anymore. Although a bit disappointed, Wonwoo changes to his pajamas too and gets ready for bed.

“It’s gonna start soon.” Mingyu tells Wonwoo, lying on his side of the bed while Wonwoo applies skincare products on his face.

“What?”

“The fireworks.”

“But I thought we are not going anymore. We are in pajamas.”

“We can watch it from here, silly.”

“Oh.”

Mingyu laughs before he drags Wonwoo off the bed. Mingyu opens the door and sits on the floor. The sky is full of stars. Wonwoo can hear the waves crashing on the shore and thinks this is perfect. This is better than going to town and be surrounded with strangers.

Wonwoo sits beside Mingyu, hugging both of his legs that are folded against his chest. As both of them are already settled, bright lights sparkle across the sky accompanied by booming sounds. Different colors and designs appear above them. Wonwoo turns his head to glance quickly at Mingyu. His eyes reflected the flickering fireworks as a small smile emerges on his face. It is infectious. Wonwoo feels his lips curl in a smile too. He doesn’t know if it is because of the spectacle above him or the one beside him.

Afterwards, Wonwoo feels a warm sensation envelope his shoulders. It’s then that he realizes that Mingyu’s arm is around him. The younger’s eyes are fixed at the sky but his smile grows bigger when Wonwoo stares up at him.

“Why?”

“Told you, no asking questions.” Mingyu orders.

“I am not going to.”

Wonwoo wants to see his eyes to take a glimpse on what he is thinking but his eyes never leave the sky. His touch just tightens as Mingyu pulls him closer. Wonwoo convinces himself that this is enough, this is what he deserves, this is what he is looking for, this is what he wants to settle on. Wonwoo leans in to Mingyu, smelling his body wash lingering on his skin while he tries to concentrate on the show and not on the sinking feeling in his chest.

“For another day, let us stay like this.” Mingyu whispers to his hair.

Wonwoo hums, loving the way Mingyu strokes his damp locks.

Wonwoo initially thinks this trip couldn’t get any better. Mingyu proves him wrong again.

**DAY 12: JULY 20**

Before he heads back to his hostel when they got back to Seoul, Wonwoo asks Mingyu to accompany him to a bookstore. He hasn’t gone to one since he arrived in the country. He wants to look at some of the local titles and take them home so he has something to read in the plane ride back and during his spare time at home.

Mingyu only follows him while he scans the aisles of books. Wonwoo isn’t picky on what he reads. Reading has always been his hobby since he was a kid. He originally wanted to take literature in college but figured it’s gonna be hard to make a career with it.

“Are you sure you can read all of these?” Mingyu asks, looking at all the sci-fi novels and crime books Wonwoo puts in the basket.

“Of course.” Wonwoo answers with pride. He has finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in just a week when he was still a student.

Mingyu leaves him for a while, telling him that he could find him in the art supplies section when he’s done book shopping. Wonwoo puts two more books (Young Adult Novels because it’s his guilty pleasure) in his basket before he goes to ti where the taller's at.

While on his way, he sees a familiar blue sweater, jet black hair, and eyes he wouldn’t forget just two aisles from the painting materials where Mingyu is located. He is holding a basket full of brushes, oil pastels, and other coloring materials. He is with a girl – a beautiful one. Her skin is pale, paler than him. Her brown hair is tied in a bun with bangs falling freely down her forehead, just above her brows. It seems like she is making him pick what size of canvass she should get. She hits his shoulders as they laugh together. They look happy. They look like they get along well. The smile on his face is genuine and the way he looks at the girl is full of fondness.

It is the first time Wonwoo has seen Soonyoung laugh and smile like that.

Wonwoo has stopped moving. It’s been three years and Soonyoung has changed a lot. The fats on his cheeks are gone, he doesn’t have highlights on his hair anymore, he isn’t wearing their matching shoelace bracelet. From afar, Soonyoung has matured and looks happy with the way his life is going. He looks happy beside the person he is with.

He doesn’t notice the tears building in his eyes or Mingyu calling out his name. He is suddenly lost. Only when Mingyu grabs his arms and turns him around that Wonwoo comes back to his senses.

“Are you okay?” Mingyu asks, worried at the sudden change of his mood and expression. He follows Wonwoo’s line of sight and frowns at the scene before him. It would loom nothing to him and Wonwoo hopes he wouldn't ask him questions about it right now.

“Yes.” Wonwoo drags him to the other direction, away from where Soonyoung and his companion are heading.

If Mingyu sees something and has figured anything, he doesn’t mention it. He stays silent, not asking anything or demanding any explanation from Wonwoo. He takes Wonwoo home as if nothing has happened, as if Wonwoo did not almost cry in public because of his ex-boyfriend.

“I am done.” Wonwoo says as he pushes his plate still full of food forward. They are having dinner inside Wonwoo’s room. Mingyu insists that they should eat together before calling it a day.

“You only ate a spoonful.” He reasons.

“I am not really hungry.” Wonwoo stands up and aims for the bed. He grabs the shopping bags on the floor and drops all the items on top of the mattress, from souvenirs he got from the beach to the books he just bought. He tries to be nonchalant in front of Mingyu even if he is aching inside.

Mingyu allows him to be like that while he disposes the food containers they used. Wonwoo is flipping the pages of one of his books mindlessly, not really paying attention to the contents he is looking at when Mingyu suddenly sits on the bed beside him, the younger’s back facing him.

“Cry.” Mingyu tells him.

“What?”

“Cry on my back. It is not good to hold your feelings in. It’s gonna be more painful.”

“I don’t want to cry.” Wonwoo lies, the crack in his voice giving him away. Tears are beginning to soak his eyes again. He wants to let his pain out but he doesn’t want to do in front of Mingyu.

“Just cry. I will not say or ask anything.”

It doesn’t take long for Wonwoo to lean on Mingyu’s back and wrap his skinny arms around his waist while he silently cries his eyes out.

Even if it’s been years since their relationship ended, it breaks Wonwoo’s heart to see Soonyoung happy with another person. It makes him feel bad about himself. He didn't make him happy, didn't give him what he wanted. He feels worthless. He feels insufficient. Most of all, he feels shit for blaming himself for something he has no control over anymore. 

Wonwoo sobs, releasing all the pain he has kept inside for years. He couldn’t breathe like his lungs will fail him. His eyes become the outlet of his emotions. He wets Mingyu’s back with his tears but the younger remains quiet. He only listens to the muffled sobs Wonwoo is making.

It almost feels like the pain will not stop but things get better when Mingyu breaks his promise and turns around to envelop Wonwoo in a warm embrace. Wonwoo thought he could not take it when someone sees him breaking down but, really, all he needed is a person to tell him that it is okay to cry, be hurt, and get angry because accepting defeat is the only way for him to fully move on.

"It's gonna be fine." Mingyu tells him, stroking his hair gently. Wonwoo buries his face in the crook of his neck. "I promise to make it alright."

**DAY 13: JULY 21**

Mingyu takes Wonwoo out on his last night in Seoul. He brings him to the newly opened steakhouse that people are talking about. Mingyu is curious about what the long line every single night is about. He heard the steak is really tender and they serve unlimited mashed potatoes and nice wine at an affordable price.

“This is delicious!” Mingyu exclaims as he stuffs his face simultaneously with meat and mashed potatoes swimming in gravy. The place is packed as it is a Sunday night. Most of the patrons are working people living close in the area. The restaurant has graffiti walls, decorated with yellow overhead lights, and hiphop music playing in the background.

Wonwoo nods. The food is quite wonderful and the place has a nice ambiance. “This is a cool restaurant.”

“True.” Mingyu wipes his mouth as he finishes everything on his plate. “Shall we go back home now?”

To buy more time together, Wonwoo tells him that he will treat him dessert as Mingyu paid for their dinner.

They proceed to an ice cream parlor nearby. The streets are full of people. Some are with friends and some are couples out for the night. It somehow reminds Wonwoo of the nights he was with Soonyoung in Osaka and they were out to have him try Japanese street food. The feeling of longing resurfaced but he pushes it down quickly. He tells himself that it is all over now. There is no other way but to move forward. Soonyoung has so he should too.

Wonwoo tucks away that memory and files it at the good ones section.

He could look at the bright side of things because of a person who radiates positive aura and influences him to treat his experience as a lesson. Wonwoo looks up at Mingyu who is focused on the street before them. If it wasn’t for him, Wonwoo would still be stuck. He would still be carrying a big baggage of Soonyoung all his life. He wouldn’t realize that it’s time to let go and forget. Last night was monumental for Wonwoo. Mingyu doesn’t know that much (for now. Wonwoo would tell him about it soon) but he stayed until Wonwoo couldn’t cry anymore. He didn’t judge. He just embraced everything that Wonwoo is and assured him that he would be with him no matter what. In a short span of time, Wonwoo never thought that he would cross paths with someone who could accept and understand him.

Finally, they arrive at the ice cream parlor. Wonwoo asks Mingyu to just wait outside since the line inside is quite long. After a few minutes, he returns with a cone in each of his hands.

“What do you want, strawberry or chocolate?” Wonwoo let Mingyu choose.

“What do you want?” Mingyu give back the question. “I’ll have what you won’t have.”

Wonwoo scrunches up his nose because Mingyu is being too nice again. “Come on, dude. Just pick one.”

Mingyu grunts. “Fine. Chocolate.” He snatches the chocolate cone from Wonwoo’s right hand.

It is a bad decision to walk back while eating ice cream cones because Mingyu is an incredibly messy eater. There are melted chocolate on his nose, side of his upper lip, and on his chin. Wonwoo only sees it when he stops to tie his shoelaces. He looks up at Mingyu and he almost rolls on the pavement when he sees his face. He is literally a four-year old who does not know how to eat yet. Though, Wonwoo finds him so adorable because he is oblivious about the mess on his face.

“Why are you laughing?!” Mingy is too cute for Wonwoo to handle. He wants to pinch his cute cheeks.

“Nothing.” Wonwoo could not stop himself anymore so he goes ahead and does what he wants. He tiptoes to meet his eyes, their faces close to each other. Mingyu puts his hands on Wonwoo’s waist to keep his balance.

Wonwoo doesn’t realize how awkward their position is until Mingyu’s stares become a little intense. The ice cream stain is still on his face. Wonwoo wipes it using his thumb, not losing their eye contact. His heart suddenly feels too big for his chest. Mingyu is still staring, his hands on Wonwoo’s waist unexpectedly feels right. Wonwoo wants to close the gap but he remembers that they are not in a cinematic universe.

“Let’s go!” Wonwoo tries to sound normal although he knows the nervousness in his voice is so obvious.

He walks ahead of Mingyu to avoid the awkwardness. When Mingyu catches up with his strides, he grabs Wonwoo’s clammy hand to hold. Wonwoo doesn’t protest. If there’s anything he learns from this trip, it is to welcome possibilities and not to be afraid to entertain things that feels good.

The two of them walk hand in hand. The silence between them is comfortable as words are not needed anymore for that moment. He looks up at him once again just to see his expression, if he could figure out what Mingyu is thinking. He carries a serene visage. Mingyu looks contented and it is enough for Wonwoo.

As he and Mingyu is about to turn in the alley leading to his hostel, Wonwoo halts in his tracks when he sees a familiar figure waiting by a lamp post, a figure he thought he would never see again.

Wonwoo catches Soonyoung eyeing his and Mingyu’s intertwined fingers. Then, he looks directly at Wonwoo. Wonwoo feels like suffocating. Those eyes hasn’t looked at him for years but still has the same effect on him.

Mingyu waits for his next move, half expecting that Wonwoo would let go of him. Mingyu grips his hand tighter while Wonwoo plays staring game with Soonyoung. The latter breaks the silence when he speaks.

“Hi.” Soonyoung greets. It is polite and quite forced. His voice got deeper. Wonwoo is trying his best not to break down again.

“Hi.” Wonwoo finds his voice and greets back. His heart is beating at a rapid pace. He doesn’t know why he is nervous seeing Soonyoung see him holding hands with Mingyu. He keeps telling himself it is okay, that there is nothing wrong with it.

“It’s nice to see you again.” Soonyoung says, stalling them from going. Then he falls silent, not knowing what to say anymore.

“We are going now.” Wonwoo says, pulling Mingyu by the hand to walk when Soonyoung suddenly utters another word.

“Can we talk?” Soonyoung requests. Despite the lower tone, his voice is still as gentle as ever.

Wonwoo wants to say no because maybe when he hears his sweet voice and looks at his perfect face, he will fall all over again. He is scared that everything that Mingyu has given him would be put to waste in just a snap. He is already prepared to run away and leave everything about Soonyoung behind. But Mingyu lets go of his hand and pushes him forward.

Wonwoo is stunned.

“It’s okay.” Mingyu tells him. His smile is sincere and forgiving.

“But—”

“Go and talk to him. I’m okay. I’ll wait for you outside your building.”

Mingyu kisses Wonwoo on his forehead before walking away.

“What do you want to talk about?” Wonwoo says when Mingyu is already out of earshot.

“Us.”

Wonwoo chuckles, the back of his hand covering his mouth. He feels mocked. What did he mean by “us”? They were over years ago because Soonyoung couldn’t understand his situation.

“What do he really want, Soonyoung?”

“Are you dating him?”

“So, what if I am? How did you even find me?”

“Your Instagram posts.” Soonyoung answers. He tells Wonwoo that he saw his photo at N Seoul Tower. He couldn’t believe that Wonwoo is in Korea so he had to confirm with one of Wonwoo’s friends that he also knows. He asked where he was staying and for how long he would be in Seoul.

“I saw you yesterday when you and your boy was about to leave the bookstore. That’s when it came to me that I really needed to see you.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I wanna know how you’re doing.”

“Why, Soonyoung? To clean your conscience?” Wonwoo snaps.

At that point, Wonwoo gives up trying to hold back his tears. He throws the thought of falling for his ex-boyfriend all over again out the window. There's nothing to go back to. He could not fall in love with the Soonyoung that's in front of him. It is not the same Soonyoung. It is not the same Wonwoo anymore.

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung starts, taking a step forward to reach for Wonwoo but Wonwoo steps back. “I am sorry for everything.”

It's too late for apologies now. Wonwoo doesn't need it anymore, doesn't expect it even. He just wants to get all his feelings for Soonyoung out system.

“I loved you, Soonyoung.” Wonwoo utters each word sharply as he wipes the tears that are flowing out of his eyes. “Even after we broke up, I continued loving you. I was really hurt that you couldn’t understand me back then.”

“I know I was wrong. I wasn’t thinking that time.”

Wonwoo’s chest is too heavy. It's hard for him to speak.

“I loved you too.” Soonyoung admits.

Wonwoo stares at him. Soonyoung’s eyes are red but there are no traces of tears on his cheeks. His expression is soft, the usual Soonyoung. It made Wonwoo’s heart ache knowing Soonyoung is so close to him but he has no power to reach out for him. He's so done trying to get to him. He's so tired of chasing something he couldn't catch.

Soonyoung doesn’t hesitate anymore and pulls him into a tight hug. “I’m really sorry for everything.” He tells and Wonwoo knows he is sincere. Maybe he has forgiven him. Maybe he hasn’t.

It takes a lot of energy for Wonwoo to push Soonyoung away from him and a lot of courage to admit that he doesn’t feel that same intense feelings for him anymore.

If he was still weak and gullible, he would beg him to take him again. Yes, it is nice to be back in his arms. It is nice to feel close to the only person he has ever loved. But Wonwoo knows better now. He knows that this is all part of the process. He could fancy being wrapped in familiar arms again and reminisce about the good times with Soonyoung. But Soonyoung already has someone and he would never leave her for someone from his past. Wonwoo would never ever be his choice.

This is the point where the chapter of Soonyoung in Wonwoo’s life comes to a close and a new chapter for someone else opens.

“Take care of yourself, Wonwoo.” Soonyoung says.

“I will.”

“Friends?” Soonyoung offers his hand. Wonwoo looks at it for a second to evaluate his feelings. He wants to take it but he isn’t ready yet. He needs more time.

“I am sorry.” Wonwoo declines.

Soonyoung takes his hand back, flashing a small smile. “I understand. I wish you and that boy all the best.”

“Goodbye, Soonyoung.” It is not just a simple farewell. Wonwoo knows it is the closure he needed all this time. It feels like a big rock has been removed from his shoulders. He can now breathe easily.

He doesn’t wait for Soonyoung to say his goodbyes before he turns around to go to the person who is patiently waiting for him. He cannot wait to come home and see Mingyu.

*

He is expecting Mingyu to be in front of his hostel. He did not expect him to be waiting by the playground where they had their first kiss. He is kicking dirt while playing on his phone when Wonwoo sees him.

“What is he doing here? I thought you’d be in the hostel.”

“I’m waiting for you.” Mingyu says. Now, there’s a hint of sadness and worry in his voice.

“You said you’ll be by the building.” Wonwoo reaches for his arms to give it a rub, like telling him that he should not worry about him because everything went fine. He is certain Mingyu is just anxious since the last time he saw Soonyoung did not go very well.

Mingyu bites his lower lip. He is uneasy about what really went on between him and Soonyoung. “I do not want you to walk alone.”

Wonwoo beams at Mingyu being concerned for him. Sometimes he acts like a kid. There were times that he is being annoying. But he realizes everything that Mingyu showed him in the past days are genuine. They are his true feelings. It is his true self. He did not hesitate to be himself around him even if they are strangers. Wonwoo comes to love these cute little habits and, each day, he comes to love everything that is Mingyu.

“Shall we walk together now?” Mingyu offers.

They reach Wonwoo’s building after only a few minutes of walking hand in hand. Wonwoo doesn’t want to let go of him yet. He wants to hold on to that hand a little longer, that hand that held him and supported him when he needed it the most.

“Thank you.” He tells Mingyu when they are already in the front door.

“It’s nothing.” He smiles bashfully, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand as he looks at his toes.

“Not just for today, but for all the days that you’ve been with me. I know I wasn’t the best company but thank you for staying with me.”

The bashfulness on Mingyu’s face fades. He leans closer, reaching up and cupping Wonwoo’s face with both of his hands. He traces his cheeks going to his defined jaw using his thumbs. His stare is tender, so loving that Wonwoo is getting drowned in it. It makes his heart swell and tummy do back flips. It is just a simple touch but it is different. Incredible.

The thumping of Wonwoo’s heart increases when he feels Mingyu is getting closer. He shuts his eyes, waiting for Mingyu’s lips to touch his.

And then it happens. His lips are still soft, still tastes the same (though this time it is a bit sweeter because of the ice cream he ate), but he feels different. Different because he is not a mere stranger anymore. Different because he hasn’t felt this with anyone.

The kiss is not hurried or forced. Mingyu’s lips are massaging Wonwoo’s affectionately, not rushing or pressing him to open his mouth for him. It is just him conveying how he feels for Wonwoo. No tongue. No teeth. No biting. It is all sweet and reserved.

Wonwoo holds on to his arms or he is going to faint. It is just so wonderful. Mingyu is wonderful. He does not know if it is the proper term but he feels fireworks exploding inside him the first time in his life.

*

They stayed outside for a bit more, still in denial that Wonwoo is going back to Osaka tomorrow. They are busy looking up at the sky, a habit that they subconsciously develop whenever they are together.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Wonwoo asks when he notices that Mingyu has been silent for quite a while now.

Mingyu hangs his head low, looking down at the earth below him. He honestly looks like a child who got busted for stealing cookies. “I’m worried.”

Wonwoo waits for more. He is still not looking at him. “I will miss you.” Mingyu confesses, a slight pink blush evident on his face.

Wonwoo purses his lips, suppressing a smile building up. “No. Mingyu.” He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t be telling me this.”

“If I want to tell you I’ll miss you, I’ll tell you. I do not give a damn anymore.” Mingyu states firmly.

“But..”

“I will miss you, okay? I will miss you so much. I’m already going insane just by thinking that I won’t see you again.” Mingyu’s eyes are fierce and determined.

Wonwoo finds himself in Mingyu’s arms once again. He melts in his arms as he tells Mingyu that he would  miss him just as much. He will miss Seoul’s big ball of sunshine and he is sad that he can’t bring it back with him.

Mingyu hums while he strokes Wonwoo’s hair. “I wanna be with you.”

“I am sorry.” That is all Wonwoo could tell him. He could not say that he wants to be with him as well. He could only curse inside his head and blame everything to stupid destiny. He could only hope that somewhere in the near future, they could be together without any obstacle.

**DAY 14: JULY 22**

Wonwoo stretches both of his arms up once he wakes up from his sleep. He thought he was dreaming when smells Mingyu’s scent as he buries his face in his pillow but then he realizes that the younger spent the night with him.

It’s the day they both don’t want to come. It’s the day Wonwoo is going back to Japan.

It’s already almost noon. Wonwoo’s tummy is telling him that he has to go grab something before it revolts on him. He scans his room and there he sees a tall figure in black tank top and gray sweatpants preparing something that smells like ramyun.

Wonwoo starts to sweat with the way Mingyu's shoulders flexed while he stirs the noodles and his healthy ass sticks out when he shifts his weight. It’s a new feeling.

He walks soundlessly into the bathroom to not disrupt Mingyu from what he is doing but his attempt fails when he bumps on the chair which makes Mingyu turn around.

“You’re awake.” He says. “Brunch will be served in a few.”

“It’s ramyun.” Wonwoo sniffs, trying to annoy Mingyu yet again.

“I know but it is still food.” He replies then continues stirring the noodles.

Mingyu places the hot cup of ramyun in the middle of the table for them to share. They share the same spoon to sip the soup and chopsticks for the noodles. Wonwoo complains about Mingyu being a fast eater and getting all the noodles. On the other hand, Mingyu intentionally acts gross by cutting the noodles halfway in his mouth making it fall back into the cup. It is a loud and messy meal but Wonwoo won’t trade anything for it.

“I am full. I feel sleepy again.” It’s Wonwoo’s way of saying he doesn’t wanna go yet.

“Come here.” Mingyu drags Wonwoo back to bed and puts his head on his lap.

Wonwoo will miss how he relaxes whenever Mingyu holds him like this. He will miss that big grin on his face when he is happy. He will miss how he smells like peppermint all the time because he likes chewing gum when he is bored.

“I will miss this.” Mingyu mumbles, as if he is reading his mind. He smiles as he runs his fingers in his hair, stroking his locks gently. Wonwoo doesn’t answer. He just wants those words to linger a little bit. “I will miss you a lot.”

“I will miss you, too.”

Wonwoo doesn’t need words. Looking at Mingyu, he could tell that he is contented with everything he could give him. He doesn’t demand. He doesn’t pressure Wonwno into labeling what they have, into telling him about Soonyoung. Wonwoo would in time. For now, he wants to spend the remaining hours he has in Seoul memorizing Mingyu’s face. He wants to remember everything. He wants Mingyu to not forget him.

For now, Wonwoo wants Mingyu to feel that he is his.

**2020 JULY 17:**

This year’s celebration is underwhelming compared to last year. It’s his 26th birthday and Wonwoo is celebrating it alone in his small apartment. His parents couldn’t come down to visit him because of the bad weather. Summer typhoons started early this year. He couldn’t afford the elders to get soaked commuting to his place.

Wonwoo doesn’t prepare much. He only cooks himself seaweed soup and steamed dumplings his mom brought the last time they visited. It's not something new that he celebrates with little food on the table. It has always been that way. Ig's not really a big deal. Besides, Wonwoo could order in pizza later when he becomes hungry.

In the middle of watching evening news and sipping his hot soup, he hears a knock on his door. It’s weird because he doesn’t expect anyone. His parents confirmed they are not coming. His friends won’t bother surprising him. Supposing it’s for his neighbor, Wonwoo continues enjoying his food.

But then the knocking won't stop so Wonwoo rises from his couch to get the door. When he opens it, he screams and closes it again. He can’t believe this.

There is another knock. Wonwoo must be dreaming. This is not true.

“You are just imagining, Wonwoo.” He tells himself.

“Wonwoo, open up!” Now, he’s hearing his voice. How fucked up is he? How much does he miss him for him to hear him calling out his name?

Wonwoo exhales and readies himself to be disappointed. Although a part of him wishes he is wrong, he knows Mingyu is in Seoul finishing his studies. He can’t be here in Osaka. That’s not possible.

But when he opens his door again, a very wet Mingyu greets him. Wonwoo blinks a few times to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. Mingyu is still in front of him. He is soaked all over and holding a bouquet of flowers that look like lilies.

“What are you doing here?” Wonwoo blurts out, still in awe.

“I came to see you.”

“But you have school. You don’t have money. This is not happening.”

“I got accepted in a summer exchange program here.”

“What?” Wonwoo can’t process things yet.

“I applied so I can visit you.”

“What?”

“I’m gonna be here for a whole semester.”

Wonwoo doesn’t think anymore and jumps on Mingyu. He is so happy. He can’t explain what he feels. He is just so thankful that after a year, he is holding Mingyu again.

“I miss you so much, Gyu.” Wonwoo tells him.

For a year, they kept in touch. Wonwoo doesn’t wanna go through another long-distance relationship considering how his previous one sucked. He was scared that Mingyu would get bored of him and find someone better in the university. But Mingyu told him to stop worrying because he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave him and promised that he would finish his studies soon so he could earn money to visit him.

A day doesn't go by without Mingyu sending him a message even on the days that he was busy in school. Wonwoo would always receive a message telling him to eat or a simple good night. Mingyu always made him feel important. Mingyu always had time for him.

Wonwoo was upset when his boss didn’t approve his leave. He wanted to see Mingyu. He wanted to be with him, especially now that he is on break. Mingyu told him it’s okay. Wonwoo never felt burdened.

“What happened to you?” Wonwoo asks, worried at Mingyu’s state.

“I went to town to buy these.” Mingyu hands him the wet flowers. The red velvet paper that covers them got ruined. “And then it rained and I don’t have an umbrella with me.”

He lets Mingyu in, gives him a towel and a change of clothes. It is a good thing he has bigger clothes that he could use. He makes hot cocoa in case Mingyu is cold. After telling him too shower, he wraps Mingyu in a blanket while he is sitting on the couch to prevent him from catching a cold.

“You shouldn’t have went to town and bought these flowers.” He hits Mingyu’s head lightly, giving him the cup of cocoa drink he just made.

Mingyu sighs. "Can we skip the scolding part and just be happy that I am here.”

Wonwoo pouts and hits his head again. “You didn’t even tell me you are coming.”

“It’s called a surprise, Wonwoo.”

“You always make me worry.”

“Says the one who won’t eat on time.”

“Are you even allowed to be here at this hour?”

“Orientation is next week. I flew in early so we could spend time together.” Mingyu snuggles close to him like a clingy puppy. Before, Wonwoo can’t tell why it feels so good whenever Mingyu is near him. Now, he got his answer. It is because it is where he truly belongs.

“I love you.” Mingyu tells him, stealing a peck on his lips. “Happy birthday, love.”

Wonwoo couldn’t ask for more. He waited a whole year to hear those words, to be with Mingyu again. It was hard for him to trust and open up his heart for another person again. But Mingyu is worth every risk. He is worth waiting for.

Wonwoo kisses Mingyu back, thinking there is no other perfect time to tell him what he wants to tell him for a year. No more hesitations. No more being scared. “I love you, Mingyu.”

Mingyu’s eyes brightens at those three words. “Say it again.” He demands, creepy smile stretches across his face

“Aren’t you getting spoiled now?”

“Say it again.” Mingyu begs.

Wonwoo has no problem repeating it over and over again. He could say it to him for as long as he wants.

So he does.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Tell me what you think on the comments or you can reach me in these platforms 👇👇  
> \- [twitter](https://twitter.com/jaetensed)  
> \- [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jaetensed)


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